#ElderWisdom | Stories from the Green Bench

Deborah Bakti - Author of Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families

Episode #17 - Erin Davis & Lloyd Hetherington welcome Deborah Bakti, author of Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families. Designed to be a valuable resource for the families of new residents, while also supporting seniors’ care providers who want to develop healthy, productive relationships with their families.
Erin: Do you ever read a book and go, wow, where were you when I needed this?
"It was so down to earth, so practical. I wish I had found it years ago ... I just love it! It's well written, the very definite points so easily picked out and mastered.  Every person considering long-term care should read." -Lloyd Hetherington about Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families 
Written as a resource for family members who needed to make a decision to move a loved one into long-term care.  The second audience is those who work in seniors care who want to have strong healthy relationships with the families of those they care for.
Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families - available at deborahbakti.com
Deborah shares her experiences working in senior living as well as her role as a family member with loved ones living in long-term care and retirement.
Learn about the Seven A’s families transition through – from awareness to appreciation.
"We don't have to like or love something in order to accept it." -Deborah Bakti
COMPLIMENTARY COPIES AVAILABLE! Contact one of our Retirement Villages' Director of Lifestyle Options to ask for a copy of Deborah's book. https://schlegelvillages.com/locations
Now What? covers some of the misconceptions families have of long-term care, to provide further insight and clarity. It’s designed to help both caregivers and families avoid frustration and disappointment.
Connect with Deborah on Social Media: LinkedIn | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor Frankl
"There are no slow days in long-term care ... sometimes we just have to step back and take a breath." -Deborah Bakti
We appreciate the work, dedication, and care that senior living workers provide our elders every day.
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BONUS | Kaye Brown & Jeff Studman - Experience of Covid-19 in Long Term Care at The Village at St. Clair, Windsor

Bonus Episode - We turn our focus to Covid-19 and thank Kaye & Jeff for sharing in this important and timely discussion. The Village at St. Clair has recently garnered negative attention in the news and online media.  Hear their stories about having covid, working/living in long-term care through the pandemic and their hopes for the future.
 
Erin Davis & Lloyd Hetherington are grateful to be joined for a conversation on the green bench to hear these stories.
Kaye Brown, resident of the Village at St. Clair and president of the Residents' Council following in her father's footsteps as he was the mayor of Winsdor, England.  
Jeff Studman, Personal Support Worker at the Village at St. Clair joins us to share his experience in Village life and throughout this pandemic.  
Kaye, as the President of the Residents' Council, plans to do lots for her neighbours including planting a healing garden in memory of those who passed away through Covid-19.  A tree in memory of the residents, and a tree to honour the support that the Hotel Dieu Grace Healthcare team offered the Village through their challenges.
"A caring attitude is so essential in leadership." -Lloyd Hetherington
Bryce McBain along with many other Schlegel Villages' team members joining forces with The Village at St. Clair team through their challenging outbreak.
Kaye's interview with Jenny Mitchell on CFRU radio, Guelph: https://bridgingthesocialdistance.substack.com/p/123-kaye-brown-the-village-at-st
Kaye Brown story with Anne Jarvis of the Windsor Star: https://windsorstar.com/news/local-news/jarvis-i-dont-think-that-ill-ever-get-over-that
"We have a responsibility: to be sensitive and to follow the guidelines, and to look for the light at the end of the tunnel." -Lloyd Hetherington
A fine example of a community coming together in Windsor, Jeff returned to work to find Hotel Dieu Healthcare team and Agency team member working well together, he couldn't even tell them apart from the St. Clair team.  We owe them all a huge thank you!
Jeff & Kaye share their messages to those who may still be holding onto misconceptions around Covid-19 and the effects on The Village at St. Clair and senior living in general.  
What pre-covid things are you missing out on today, and what are you looking forward to doing when you are able?
"I think that we are getting closer, now that the vaccination has gone through, I'm getting that feeling of normalcy again. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel." -Jeff Studman
Kaye and Lloyd share how safe they feel living in their respective villages. "We have been so shut away for so long, we do want a barbeque." -Kaye Brown
"We're in the same boat, so let's navigate these stormy waters together." -Erin Davis
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Trish Baird & Merry Snider - roles of RPN & PSW in senior living, relationships and grief

Episode #16 - A conversation with two people who are the strong threads that bind this quilt of a caring community together.  Celebrating team members at Schlegel Villages during Caregivers' Week we welcome Trish Baird from The Village at University Gates and Merry Snider from The Village of Winston Park.
Trish began as a Personal Support Worker and is currently a Registered Practical Nurse at The Village at University Gates in Waterloo.  'Behind every great nurse, there is a running PSW'.  She shares the differences between an RPN and a PSW, but both rely on each other to fully take care of each resident.
Merry, found her calling to the PSW role working with seniors through her relationship with her great-grandmother.  Learning the history of seniors she cares for allows her to better care for them. "Seniors give me joy, they give me so much comfort" - Merry Snider
A holistic approach to living where every team member is involved.  What is best for the resident, asking; how would you like this done? what would you like today?  what would you like to do today?  Verbal and non-verbal communication, and building a lot of trust with each resident.
Working in senior care: how do you deal with the connections you make and how do you deal with the loss?
Learn about the Dignity Walk that happens across Schlegel Villages when a resident passes away and experienced grief.
Trish & Merry share advice to those interested in starting their career in senior living. 
"We do it for those tiny moments of a nice warm handhold, a smile or a gesture that you take with you." -Trish Baird, RPN
"There's a way and then there's a Schlegel way" -Merry Snider
"You exemplify the culture of Schlegel Villages, where people are important." -Lloyd Hetherington to Merry & Trish
CULTIVATE THE ULTIMATE TEAM MEMBER EXPERIENCE
At Schlegel Villages, we have an amazing culture that stellar team members want to be a part of. We care about our team members as much as we care about our residents. As one family, we learn, grow, and move forward together. We are passionate and find fulfillment in making a difference in people’s lives. Our caring community honours and encourages well-being, and team members are appreciated in personally meaningful ways. Through mentorship, ongoing support, and education we are empowered to go beyond the status quo, and unleash our full potential.“You can be you while being a part of our family.”
For more information about working at Schlegel Villages visit schlegelvillages.com/opportunities
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Margaret Collard - a life given to ministry & outreach work, respect and care for everyone individually

Episode #15 - A sparkling chat with Margaret Collard who has given her life to ministry joins Erin Davis & Lloyd Hetherington from The Village of Winston Park in Kitchener to share her story from the green bench.
A Minister for the United Church of Canada in Scarborough, with a focus on street ministry in outreach projects, Margaret shares about the challenging work with her community. Her husband, former Waterloo Regional Police Officer, was also doing justice work on the streets alongside her.  "it is better to work in pairs"
Margaret mentions the Rouge National Urban Park the work that she and her family did with people in the area. Agincourt Community Centre, churches and groups provided food and supplies within the community.
We learn about the importance to really listen to those around us and those asking for help.
"Just being in their presence saying, I'm here and I care." -Lloyd Hetherington
"When we really listen to their story, we can learn from that." -Margaret Collard
Margaret's children and grandchildren have been exposed to the way of life on the street as she teaches them the importance to stop and listen to people.  Rather than just giving them money, offering a place to go get some food or get what they needed.  Showing the children that these are people who deserve our respect, but also a warning not to bury our heads be alert to the risk.
"Children are really bright.  We sometimes don't give them the credit." -Margaret Collard
"We must treat everyone with dignity & respect." -Lloyd Hetherington
You cannot just group everyone under the same umbrella.  It takes the whole community to be alert and ask what can they do to make a difference.  Churches and Community Centres play a significant role to support while transforming the caregiver and the individual being cared for.  Important to try and understand where that person is coming from.  
"Anyone can be an activist by writing letters, by not turning a blind eye." -Erin Davis
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Bruce MacNeil - Growing a garden, a community and friendships through volunteerism

Episode #14 - Talking dirty in this episode, a conversation about soil.  81-year-old Bruce MacNeil joins us on the green bench in a conversation about his love for horticulture and for being a Volunteer at The Village of Winston Park in Kitchener.
"Come on in and make yourself homely." -Bruce
As we celebrate National Volunteer Week in April, this episode is a way for us to honour those who give of their time as volunteers in whatever they choose to do for their communities.  "Thank you to all volunteers who make their contributions, so selflessly as they make our residences a real habitation of joy." - Lloyd Hetherington
Volunteerism has passed through generations in the MacNeil family as he shares stories of his parents and now his grandchildren.
 "We plant in soil and we play in dirt." -Bruce MacNeil
Do you have a green thumb? (share with us on social media using the #ElderWisdom tag)
Bruce is not only growing a garden but growing friendships and relationships with everyone at the Village.  He uses gardening as a therapy, including storytelling.  He has also involved his grandchildren in his volunteering at The Village teaching them these skills.
When Covid hit, the residents were trying to make Bruce's volunteer work an essential service.  Hear a few messages to Bruce from the residents at The Village of Winston Park.
"You are not just a volunteer, but a friend." -Bruce, resident at Winston Park
There are many volunteer opportunities available in every community.  What are some of the opportunities that you have participated in or are interested in?
A special message from Bruce's granddaughter, Alexandra, about being involved in his volunteer work at Winston Park.  He taught her about compassion, how to converse with someone new, and the importance of storytelling and connections.
*Get your pen and paper out as Bruce shares tips to grow your tomatoes at home
"Thank you to everyone who gives of their time, but more importantly of themselves to make the world a better place." -Erin Davis
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Ruth White -Canada road trips, living and sailing in Bermuda, and a spirit of trying new things

Episode #13 - Hosts Erin Davis & Lloyd Hetherington share virtual travels with Ruth White from The Village of Arbour Trails in Guelph. This Canada Day marks her 80th Birthday and she is thrilled to share her adventures across this country in her stories from the green bench.
"It never hurts to learn new things, does it?" Ruth has a spirit of trying new things and is happy to be adding this podcast to her list.
Before being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, she was always ready for an adventure.  She shares some of her favourite travel memories.
Finding a job in Campbell River, north of Vancouver Island where she learned to waterski, fish for salmon, make a fire using driftwood, and creating art.
Fort Qu'Appelle, Saskatchewan
Lake Louise, Alberta
Golden, British Columbia
Where are your favourite places to visit in Canada?
We would love to see your photos and read your stories on social media - tag #ElderWisdom in your posts.
Hear about Ruth's drive across Canada with her sister - North of lake superior, a rough road driving a 1962 Chevy II, we made it through ok.  "Highway 17 can be a lonely stretch of road." -Lloyd
Ruth's mother had multiple pregnancies including quadruplets, two sets of identicle twins.  Stories of growing up in a family with multiple births and multiple loss.  
"Appreciate the time that is given to you." - Ruth White
Pack your virtual bags and visit Bermuda with Ruth. She heard about a job and ended up working and living there for a little over 40 years. Price Waterhouse Coopers, Gulf Oil/Chevron, Office Supplies, Aberfeldy plant nurseries.  Aunt D's son Captain White got Ruth into sailing the waters around Bermuda.  Eight miles north of Bermuda, Ruth learned to snorkel in the coral reef.
"Listen to your heart.  Be aware of others that can help your situation." -Ruth White
"Be encouraged to think beyond the box." - Ruth White
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David Boehm - A musician living life to its fullest, technology, connections, and dreaming

Episode #12 - This isn't David's first time in front of a mic, he's been providing entertainment for audiences for most of his life. His spirit of living life to its fullest, even as he battles a difficult health challenge, is all about connection.  David shares his Story from the Green Bench from the Schlegel Village, Pinehaven Nursing Home in Waterloo.
Born in Elmira in a little apartment over top of a blacksmith shop.  Has lived in Waterloo for most of his life, with some time in Toronto to work at Steve's Music Store, where he had the privilege of meeting Eddie Van Halen, The Hollies, The Moody Blues, The Police, and others. 
A musician from a young age. "My brother was stuck with the accordion and I got to play the Hawaiian guitar." It gave him an insight into the guitar and later led to a Spanish guitar. He joined a high school rock band and they most wanted to be like The Beatles.
His musical career as part of the band called 'The Town Choir' toured across Ontario and New York State.  
*Back in 1969 David wrote and recorded a song called 'Smile' with his band.  Lost the tape and recently found it, fixed it up, and got it on a CD.  Jim and Ralph recorded Smile - have a listen.
"The world needs a big smile today." - Lloyd Hetherington
In grade 13, David had a fight with his dad and left home, sleeping wherever he could find comfort.  A friend's father got him a job and gave him a room.  
"I had good friends. Without them, I wouldn't have survived." -David Boehm
Prior to getting married David and his wife-to-be had a son.  Her parents wouldn't allow them to raise him so they had to put him up for adoption.  He has recently connected with his son and enjoys hearing about his life and the lives of his grandchildren. He hopes to one day be able to visit with them.
"Clearly some of those strands of DNA are guitar strings." -Erin Davis to David Boehm regarding his son and his grandchildren
David started up a small company called Aquatic Designs, where he set-up and maintained aquariums.  He has an interest in fish - spent time with the Willowdale Aquarium Society and volunteered at Royal Ontario Museum identifying fishes and going on field trips.
"Learned a lot from being a volunteer at The Royal Ontario Museum." -David Boehm
More in this episode:
teaching himself how to use computers
working with M&T printing group for 17 years
dreaming of the future
continuing to learn and grow
connecting through technology
"As long as you have love, you are going to be alright." - David Boehm
 
David Allan Boehm, 73, of Waterloo, Ontario, passed peacefully in his sleep on December 20, 2021, after a lengthy battle with multiple myeloma.
 
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Lloyd Hetherington - A life in education, in service, and now our podcast co-host

Episode #11 - Turning the spotlight onto a man who is living an exemplary life. A life in education and theology, leading a life in service and now serving up his own wisdom, laughter, questions, and conversations every couple weeks on the green bench as our podcast co-host. 
Listen as we learn a little bit more about Lloyd Hetherington and his life leading up to being part of this podcast.
Lloyd joins us from The Village of Riverside Glen retirement home Guelph. "My life has just blossomed here at The Village of Riverside Glen." -Lloyd Hetherington
Learn about his experience on a move to Zambia where he lived for 11 years. Working with people living with leprosy who got on with living, accepting the situation as it was. "Although I had nothing materially, I had the world around me to get out and enjoy the adventures."
In this episode, we learn about Lloyd's family, his three children, and his grandchildren.  He also shares who he looks up to for wisdom and advice saying, "I have many sources, many springs of knowledge that I drink from."
Podcasting: We love reading the reviews and comments left about the podcast.  Read and leave your thoughts on Apple Podcasts. The topics are endless and timeless, in every #ElderWisdom podcast episode, there are takeaway thoughts for everyone.
Lloyd was also the spotlight of some local media:CTV Kitchener | CBC Radio | GuelphToday
"Times can change, but things like values and  integrity don't have to." -Erin Davis
Lloyd has written a book for himself called 'My Blessings Book' - writing in advice, scriptural blessings, hymns thoughts, and more. 
Here are some thoughts and advice for younger generations. Remember who you are, remember your roots, remember your family, remember your church.  Be alert to the opportunities to be alive in this day in age, grasp the values that are there, grasp the opportunities and go for them.
"We have something to share and it's our obligation to share our experience with others." -Lloyd Hetherington
 
Passed away peacefully at The Village of Winston Park on Friday February 11th, 2022 in his 87th year.
 
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